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Conditioned to be Cruel
But disposed to being kind
It’s often said that children can be cruel. Unhindered by protocol and convention, children tend to shoot from the hip. Their spontaneity can be disarmingly pure and wonderful but their directness can also be cutting and brittle. But even children we find precocious and mean, rarely have a complex agenda and even when the intention is questionable the goal tends to be self directed rather than malicious.
Childhood is a learning centre, preferably a safe space to test one’s negotiating skills and powers of persuasion. It’s a space where boundaries need to be pushed — how else would those boundaries be understood? Cut knees, hurt feelings and broken relationships are all part of the training. What lesson would children learn about the world if they only experienced kindness from their peers? Rivalries and tribalism need to be experienced and learned from.
A healthy society wouldn’t want to wrap it’s children in cotton wool but you’d hope there were checks and balances to keep it’s charges from significant harm. A school should not be taking on the role of a parent but we should expect it to be mindful of a child’s home life and activities outside of the school day. Ideally resources beyond those required simply to teach should be made available — not that even the basics are provided in some cases.
