And Hidden Control
In recent years it has been recognised that an abusive relationship is not simply one where there is physical violence. Abuse covers the violation of someone’s freedom and personal space. The metoo movement has highlighted the extent of sexual harrasment in the work place, whether that be in the office, on a film set or any situation where authority is exercised.
Abuse is now recognised as the excessive control of one person over another whether that be witholding money, making the other person feel inadequate or intimidation through threat or violence. Sometimes the one in control is quite unaware of the extent to which they are forcing boundaries or determining the activities of the one they are controlling. Sometimes the one doing the controlling is the more insecure of the two or even the one that feels they are being controlled.
It might even be that the controller is being submissive to the person being controlled, in which case the control is in the form of making the stronger person feel responsible and unable to turn the needy one away. The dynamics in play might not be obvious but many who come across as needy have a learned behaviour that is very controlling and can sniff out others who are caring by nature. Control can also be by proxy, where the contoller is loading the gun while a third party is firing the bullets. In this case the…
