The Rhythm Method

Nothing to do with birth control

I had resolved to make some fundamental changes to my life in 2020 but I’m 10 days in and nothing has fundamentally changed. I sense the mass nods of understanding and told-you-so.

But I really do have to make those changes because I wake up each morning on my metaphorical self-made raft a few metres off shore from my miserable desert island. As the day goes on I get into a stride of sorts, inching towards a horizon which itself inches away at the exact same speed. I’ve given up on expecting a ship to appear and take me to a safe haven but just hoping I have the energy to make it to a mainland.

The curse of deep winter is not the weather but the long nights, so come late afternoon the day appears to be drawing away from me and the gravity of the island pulls me back towards the shore I’m trying to leave. Sleep can help with perspective but inevitably takes me back to where I was the day before. I rise sometimes with hope but, more often, dread. Its not that I dread what will happen but what won’t.

My mind often takes me back to the first job I had. The company refined bauxite in order to produce grains used in sandpaper and grinding wheels. The bauxite was delievered by rail and I worked in a Portakabin® situated next to the railway. The wagons had to be manhandled once they’d been delivered, with…