You are not listening. I hate transphobe and TERF being thrown around with no thought to what they actually mean (it's very damaging and shrinks the space for debate considerably). But by your reasoning (or lack of), 'racist' and 'bigot' should be included in words we shouldn't use. It's up to you to figure out if you are transphobic or simply critical of the arguments. If you are triggered by the word the first thing you ask is why? Then consider why you are arguing within this space which is obviously not home territory.